# 95

Not everyhting that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts , can be counted

# 94

We make our own fortunes and call them fate.

# 93

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

# 92

Most of the people are not like Most of the People (TM, original by me)

# 91

"Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol"
- Sir Johny Walker

# 90

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,neither does milk.

# 89

Life is pleasant.Death is peaceful.It's the transition that's troublesome.

# 88

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

# 87

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?

# 86

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

# 85

There is a thin line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an IDIOT

# 84

He who laughs last, thinks slowest!!

# 83

Its all fun and games, until someone looses a tooth, then it is hockey!

# 82

Give some people and inch and that think they are rulers!

# 81

If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking

# 80

Success comes in cans, Failure comes in can'ts!

# 79

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others

# 78

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate

# 77

The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at once.

# 76

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it

# 75

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either - it's hereditary.

# 74

There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots

# 73

The beginning is always today." 

# 72

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick

# 71

We can't become what we need to be by remaining what we are.

# 70

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

# 69

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

# 68

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

# 67

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

# 66

Work is a lousy way of earning a living:- SS

# 65

I am not young enough to know everything.
Oscar Wilde

# 64

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected ?

# 63

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left!

# 62

A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.

# 61

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

# 60

The statement below is true. The statement above is false.

# 59

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally

# 58

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

# 57

If I save time, when do I get it back?

# 56

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

# 55

"After all is said and done, more is said than done." 

# 54

"Every saint has a past,
Every sinner has a future"

# 53

No man is a failure who is enjoying life

# 52

Dont worship Work!!..
DO IT : ME

# 51

Doubt can only be removed by action

# 50

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air :- VPSA

# 49

U see there is a there but u need to be there to understand that there is there.... got it: Arunanden

# 48

"Success will not lower its standard to us... We must raise our standard to success !"

# 47

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else

# 46

"The more you can dream, the more you can do."

# 45

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." Peter Ustinov

# 44

"The best presents don't come in boxes." - Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes

# 43

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." Peter Ustinov

# 42

"If you have the attitude, altitude is not a problem":- Yoga guru

# 41

"You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough." Joe E. Lewis

# 40

"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected." Robert Orben

# 39

"I've got to sit down and work out where I stand":- NS

# 38

"Winners are too busy to be sad, too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated."

# 37

“By the time you understand you dad was right, you already have a son who thinks you are wrong”: Me.

# 36

"Those who stand for nothing fall for anything."  Alexander Hamilton

# 35

"Live out of your imagination, not your history." Stephen Covey

# 34

“One thing a computer can do that I can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse” :-A.A

# 33

"Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time." Arnold H. Glasow

# 32

"Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done." Louis D. Brandeis

# 31

If u want breakfast in bed sleep in kitchen

# 30

Friends come and go but enemies accumalate.

# 29

i cant dial 911 there is no 11 on my phone

# 28

Everyone has a photographic memory.Some just donot have film

# 27

“A little more determination, a little more pluck,a little more work, that is called Luck.”

# 26

Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.

# 25

“From Discoes to Discourses” :- NS

# 24

Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there.  - Scott Adams

# 23

I like deadlines, especially the swoosh-ing sounds they make when they pass.

# 22

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

# 21

Mom says,  “Life is , what happens while you are busy planning about it”

# 20

Mom says,  “Life is , not doing the things you like, but liking the things that you have to do”

# 19

Taking Chance Is Risking Failure..

# 18

Whatever you resist, shall persist.

# 17

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will takes its place.
If I quit, however, it lasts forever.     -Lance Armstrong

# 16

A book is a gift you can open again and again. - Garrison Keillor

# 15

Smile is the only curve that sets all things straight!!

# 14

“Save Earth, It’s the only planet with chocolate”- Madhulika Banerjee

# 13

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose." Robert Byrne

# 12

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."- Phyllis Diller

# 11

Increasing expectations decreases JOY.
(Decreasing expectations increases JOY.)- Abhishek

# 10

The less you know, the more you believe

# 9

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese." Luis Bunuel

# 8

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

# 7

In God we trust; all others must pay cash

# 6

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. - Joshua J Marine

# 5

“No one dies a virgin, life fucks everyone”

#4

The deed for my house is expiring, I need to got the COURT (Indian Court) tomorrow, may not be able to come to work!

#3

My roommate’s been puking since early morning, probably ate something wrong last night. I need to take him to the hospital as he does not have any relatives here. I will be late, don’t know how late.

#2

These is a dispute (legal case), at my hometown (faraway), where my (along with my father’s) presence is needed. I need to go urgently, cant say for how many days.

#1

I need three days off, I need to take my sister for admission in a college/university in a (faraway) University. My dad / mom is ill / Out of state /country, so I have to go!